"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
