I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
