it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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