You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize