I accidentally burped into my bong.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize