You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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