You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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