Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize