Pappa wants mamma naked
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Watching her eat just hurts me
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
