then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
