took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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