when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
