Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
