1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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