i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
