I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
