Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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