Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
