i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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