How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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