Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
