I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
