so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
