Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
