She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize