I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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