She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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