Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
