the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize