This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
