Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
