I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
