the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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