Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Bring me that man meat
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
