I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
