I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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