i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
