i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize