He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
