I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
