i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
It's just like the Real World with babies
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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