We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
