Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Last time i carry you out of a forest
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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