you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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