This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We have so much sex to catch up on
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
