So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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