I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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