Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
