WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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