Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
my poor anus
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize