My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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