And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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