Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize