I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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