Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
