hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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