all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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