Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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